Intentional Relationships.

So through my church back home (Bridgeway; it's great!), I've heard a lot about being intentional in my relationships. My pastors always seemed to be talking about the value of the people around you, and how people were made to be in relationships with one another.

Last semester certainly proved that to me, because I wasn't as strong in my relationships as I was back home and I could definitely see a difference. But the thing is, that weakness in my relationships here at school made me a lot stronger in my relationships back home. I clung to my friends back home a lot more, and put forth a lot more effort to keep those friendships. I missed everyone so much that I didn't want to go home and have those relationships gone, I wanted to keep them and have them be just as valuable when I came back home as they were when I left. I stayed best friends with people, and I even became closer to people from home than I was when we all saw each other daily. I grew so much closer to my family, and began to learn the true value of having such a wonderful family.

I am beginning to learn how to be intentional in my relationships, and how to make a point to show people that I care about them. I am trying to get better at verbalizing to others that they mean a lot to me, beyond just thinking it in my head and never saying a word. I want others to know that I value them in my life, and that I appreciate their friendship. I know that I am a pretty outspoken person, so why shouldn't I be outspoken in my relationships? It doesn't make sense to only voice my opinions loud and clear, without also voicing encouragement to others. I mean everyone likes to know that they are valued, so why shouldn't I be the one to tell others the good things I think of them?

The problem is that regardless of how outspoken I can be, sometimes I let my self-consciousness get in my way. Rather than writing a friend a quick letter saying that I hope they are doing well and that I was thinking of them, I get afraid that whoever the recipient may be will take it the wrong way. I get scared that they will think I was being creepy, or that they may not be as attached to the friendship as I may be and think that I'm just being weird. I get scared, and I let that fear take over. Instead of trying to be an encouragement, I don't say anything. I back down and ignore the opportunity to be intentional in a friendship and instead let the moment pass with words unsaid.

I mean it's not like I would send a long note to a random person I've talked to maybe five times in my life telling them how I couldn't live without them. That's just weird. I'm talking about sending a note of encouragement to close friends of mine telling them that I appreciate them. That's something that could easily be done, but instead I allow myself to back out of that opportunity due to fear. I shouldn't allow fear to get in the way of being intentional and showing others that they mean something to me. I hope this all doesn't sound like I'm just super obsessed with every single one of my friends, because that isn't what I'm trying to say. I just don't want people to think they don't mean much to me, because I value the friendships I have been blessed with a lot.