So this past week, I’ve been working at my dad’s office. I started Wednesday, and worked Thursday and Friday as well. While I’m working, I basically don’t do anything that requires much thought at all. I stuff envelopes, I file paperwork, I make copies and I put together binders and such. Once I get a rhythm of what I’m doing, none of it requires much concentration. This means that I have a lot of time to just think about different things, which is greatly appreciated. I put in my headphones, turn on my music, and get lost in my thoughts.
On Wednesday, I turned on my iPod and started to listen to a playlist that I recently made. It included artists like Regina Spektor, Mumford&Sons, Florence + the Machines, etc. While enjoying the music, I got to thinking. I started to think about my relationship with God right now, and how I feel so distant from Him and I don’t know why. I mean sure I haven’t been as dedicated to getting in the Word as I have been in the past, but is that enough to make me feel so distanced and far from Him? I then began to pray that God would fill me, that I would feel Him working in me and that I would be able to shine for Him. I kept praying this as I worked, but nothing changed. I still felt empty and distant as the day went on, and I was discouraged. I kept thinking that maybe I should change the music I was listening to, that maybe I should listen to one of my worship playlists instead. But I kept thinking “after this song ends” or “ah well I really like this song, so after this one”, but of course I never ended up changing my music. I just kept praying for God to fill me, yet didn’t really pay Him attention even in the slightest way of changing my music.
Now, let’s go to Thursday. I started at work on Thursday much the same as on Wednesday, turning on the same playlist and enjoying the songs. Then, I suddenly decided to change. I turned on my worship music, and it took less than five minutes to feel completely uplifted and encouraged. The distance feeling was gone, and I felt like I was completely full of Christ. I continued working feeling a sense of Joy, and I could feel God just changing my perspective. It’s like as soon as I decided to listen to worship music, every thought I had was one that was worshiping Him.
Friday continued much like the second half of Thursday had, worshipping God and enjoying my work. I sat back and tried to think of why those two days had been so different than my first day working, and I realized something. On Wednesday, I had been praying a ton for God to fill me and show Himself to me, yet I hadn’t sacrificed anything for Him. I didn’t even want to give up the music I was listening to, but I was still just expecting Him to appear in my life. Then on Thursday I simply decided that I would rather listen to music that was glorifying to God, and everything seemed to get on track. It was like as soon as I gave God something from me, He responded with more than I ever asked for.
Now I know this is kind of a small thing, listening to different music and stuff. But it just showed me that all God asks for is all of us, and He will give us more than we could ever imagine. He isn’t asking for us to do the impossible, He is just asking for us to give ourselves over to Him.
"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a LIVING SACRIFICE, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship." Romans 12:1
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Reagan! I decided to check on my Blog friends, and I noticed you had some new posts..So I was excited to see what you had written. This one hits the nail on the head with what I've been feeling lately! I've asked God to draw me closer to Himself, but then I decide to do little things my own way (like listening to music that isn't bad--but isn't uplifting.) You're so right--if we just submit to God, even in what we think of as small ways, He will show Himself in big ways. Thanks for all of your encouraging posts! Keep it up! Love you! :)
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