Who Gets the Glory?

“Jesus is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him.”

Last semester I heard that quote, and every time I have come upon it since it has always caught my attention. It sounds so simple, yet as usual putting it into action proves to be a bit of a challenge. When I allow myself to be completely satisfied in Christ and to put myself aside, others can see God more clearly in me. I mean it makes sense, when I live in a way that is content with God in control, my actions should certainly be more glorifying to God.

When I live for myself, the only person I am glorifying and pleasing is my own sinful nature. What is the benefit of that? What is the point of living a life that only makes myself happy, and doesn’t do anyone else any good? I mean sure we can convince ourselves that we are benefiting the other people around us in one way or another with our actions, but if we get down to the truth of the matter that isn’t true. There is no way that others can see God in my life when I personally don’t have God active in my life. I feel like sometimes I let myself think that even if I’m just doing what I want, people will think I'm a good person and will see good in my actions anyways.

Even if what I’m doing isn’t necessarily bad, having that mentality is only building up my pride. It makes me think that as long as what I’m doing is still good, then people will think that I’m good. That isn’t right either! That still makes it all focused on myself! There is no true, Godly benefit to doing whatever I want to do. And the thing is, once I get in a routine of living for myself, it’s hard to snap myself out of it. It becomes comfortable, and I begin to excuse my actions completely. That’s why earlier when I mentioned that I had kind of fallen out of my devotions over break, I knew I had to make myself get back in them. Otherwise I would have gotten comfortable in not spending time in the Word, and it easily could have been a month before I even really thought about doing them again. That’s so wrong! I shouldn’t have this whole method of living for myself.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that quote is so very true. I need to live my life in a way that is so very content on God that nothing else matters. My pride doesn’t matter. What other people think of me doesn’t matter. My sinful human nature doesn’t matter. All of the things that I allow to dictate my selfishly-led life don’t matter.

I need to allow God to be glorified in my life more than I let myself be glorified.

Sharing Some Honesty.

So the past week or so, I've been in a slump. I was on vacation first of all, which meant any sort of regular devotions just didn't happen. Also, I used being on vacation as an excuse to not do anything I would do in my usual routine, like homework and devotions and blogging. Looking back I'm really wishing that I hadn't just quit all of those responsibilities, but unfortunately I can't change that now.

See usually when I do this, like just fade off on my devotions and stop getting in the Word, I tend to let my relationship with God fade away. Not to say that I just leave God, not at all. But rather, I just kind of keep Him in the back of my mind without really putting forth effort into growing in my faith. This time, I've decided that just won't be the case.

I'm tired of allowing myself to fade away from my reliance on God, and ultimately being stupid for a while until I realize that it's because of me that I'm unhappy and then decide to come back to God. It's not right for me to continue living however I want to until I decide it isn't right anymore. Instead, I want to come back to God before I get back in the swing of life on my own rather than with God's help.

See this morning, I was struck with a thought about growing in my faith. Maturing in my faith isn't something that all of the sudden just happens, it takes work. It takes me looking at the mistakes I've made, and finding ways to fix them so that I won't make those mistakes again. It's a daily process. Looking at the mistakes I've made every day, and finding a way to not make those mistakes again.

I've always kind of thought that you don't really notice when you mature in your faith, you just look back years later and notice you've made some progress. The problem with that mentality is that it makes it seem like an accident, like I just happened to grow in my faith and I didn't really do anything about it. That doesn't really seem to be fair to God, and it doesn't help me be a stronger Christian either.

So now, I'm trying a new approach. I need to have some more self-reflection, and really look at the mistakes I've made and fix them. Rather than just brushing past my mistakes and trying to ignore them, I want to bring attention to them and prayerfully try and fix them. Because I want to be a stronger Christian, someone who really glorifies Christ, and living for myself just isn't accomplishing that.

Letter to God.

Dear Lord,

I want to be used by you.

I want people to see you in my life.

I want everyone I meet to know that I love you,

and that I have given my life into your hands.

I want to make an impact,

I want to be your hands and feet.

I want to set my pride aside,

and I want to live for you.

I want to love you more than myself.

I want to shine for you.

I want others to be encouraged by me,

but for your glory and not for mine.

I want to be yours Lord,

and I want my future to be in your hands.

I want all my relationships to be centered around you,

and I want my life to be rooted in you.

I want to be able to look beyond the stresses of this world,

because I know that you have something better.

I want my life to be a reflection of you.

I want to live like Jesus.

sincerely,

a sinner.

Forgiveness.

Hello!

So I'm sorry that I haven't really written lately, I've been caught up in stress, homework and other things. I've been workin on some projects, as well as relaxing between all the workload. Unfortunately, my lack of posting on here means a lack of time with God too. The past week I have just been really slacking on spending quality time with God and actively reading His word. Instead, I've been avoiding my devotions and pushing off my Bible reading. However, this morning I finally sat down and really got back in the Word, and I feel much better now! So I thought I would post on here and share some of my thoughts.

One of the things I read this morning was in Genesis 50, at the end of Joseph's life. After Joseph and his brothers’ father Jacob died, his brothers became afraid that Joseph would pay them back for all the terrible things they had done to him. When Joseph became aware of his brothers' fear, he responded telling them:

“Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.”

Now Joseph clearly had a reason to be angry at his brothers and hold their wrongs against them, but he didn’t do that at all. He accepted them back, he forgave them, he provided for them and gave them far beyond what they expected. I find this so amazing, that after everything they did he simply forgave them. And then after their father’s death, when Joseph could have gotten away with showing anger and vengeance towards his brothers, he still continued showing them love. His forgiveness was genuine, and he loved his brothers all the same.

What if we all started to act this way? What if we simply forgave the people who have done us wrong, regardless of whether we think they have received adequate punishment for their actions? It seems like it’s easier to forgive the people who have already had to pay for what they have done, but what if we all just forgave people regardless? It seems so easy to expect to be treated this way by others, but what if we acted this way ourselves? What if we accepted the fact that God is in control and that He is the ultimate judge, and that nothing we do could ever equal what he can do.

God knows what people have done to us, and more importantly He knows what we have done to others. He knows the wrongs we have committed against each other and against Him, but he still loves us. He can change any situation and make it good. Everything God does is good, so why should we meddle in the middle and try to fix it all ourselves? All that is going to do is make things worse for us, and ultimately point out how small and powerless we are in comparison to God Almighty.

I am so thankful that God is in control of this world, and that all I can do is serve Him.

Reminded of His Gift.

Yesterday morning I went to church at Discover Church, and they were celebrating their eighth anniversary. I’ve been attending this church since about October, and I love it! It reminds me a lot of my church back home and I get a lot out of the Pastor’s teaching. Since yesterday was their anniversary they were celebrating everything God had done through their church and what all had been accomplished for His glory. One thing I really liked about the service was that it was so encouraging, like that God had just started His work in the church and that they have so much more to do for His kingdom. They weren’t centered on what all the church had done, but rather the fact that God had chosen to use them in the lives of so many different people.

During the service, the pastor said one phrase that really stuck with me. It wasn’t a main point, and I bet many people left church that morning without giving this sentence a second thought. I, however, was really struck by this phrase and was pleasantly reminded of how much my Father loves me. The pastor said:

“God paid the highest price to give you the best gift, for free.”

Now I know this is a phrase that seems to be thrown around all the time, whether it be as a strong point in a sermon or as a lyric in a worship song. It’s not really anything new, and I know I’ve heard it many times before. However, yesterday it happened to be exactly what I needed to hear.

So often I forget that God actually had to pay to give me salvation and eternal life. It’s so easy to just assume that since God can do everything, he just magically snapped his fingers and gave me eternal life. I let myself forget the power behind His mighty act of saving me, and I get caught up in the fact that he saved me. I focus on the fact that I have been given this new life, and that I don’t need to fear death because I have something better. It’s all about me, me, me.

Then I am bluntly reminded that it’s about God. Not me, not the people surrounding me, not any other single person on this earth. It’s about Him. He was the one who graciously saved me and every other sinner on this earth. He is the one who created this beautiful, perfect earth, and us sinners are the ones who ruined it. He is the one who died on the cross, and it was me and my sins put Him there. He suffered the most severe pain, He was betrayed by everyone close to Him, and He was the one who went through the worst of the worst to save a fallen world. It’s so ridiculous how I make it all about me, when the only part I really play is the bad guy.

By realizing that it’s God’s story and not mine, I am overwhelmed with a renewed sense of humility. I realize once again that I am so small, and that God is so huge. He surrounds me, controls my life, knows my inner thoughts and intentions, and yet loves me more than I could ever begin to comprehend. He continues to shatter any sense of importance I place in myself, and makes me so appreciative that I have his gift of life.

I know it sounds so cliché, but the thought of living life on my own and trying to get myself through it all sounds miserable. My embarrassingly-frequent selfish moments are bad enough; I can’t imagine living a whole life without any consideration for someone bigger than myself. I’m a terrible sinner, a rotten person, a self-consumed and pride-centered individual in desperate need of a Savior. And I thank my Father above that I have been given one who paid the greatest price for me.

Biblical Confusion.

So as I continue with my chronological reading, I’m getting more and more excited about this! Like right now I’m reading the story of Joseph which I have certainly heard many times before, but it’s always interesting to read it from the word of God and see what the Bible really has to say. It seems like when I hear the stories they’re always a little watered down or summarized, and reading those little details again is a bit refreshing.

So towards the end of Genesis, in the middle of the account of Joseph, there is a story about Joseph’s brother Judah. Now if you haven’t heard of this story before I’m not too surprised, because I hadn’t heard of this story before this summer. A small group at my church read Francine Rivers’ book “A Lineage of Grace,” which tells the story of five different scandals that are involved in forming the line of Jesus. If you haven't ever read this book I highly recommend it, it's so wonderful! One of stories included is the story of Judah and a woman named Tamar.

Now this story is definitely the sandals of all scandals in the Bible, I’d even go as far as to call it a scriptural soap opera. Let me warn you now, this is definitely not a clean and g-rated story! You see, Judah had three sons, and the eldest was married to a woman named Tamar. But this son was so evil that God killed him, so Tamar became the wife of the second son. This son was evil as well, so God took his life also. The third son was too young for a wife, so Judah sent Tamar back to her father’s house and told her that he would come for her when the last son was of age. However, Judah never came for Tamar, leaving her feeling unwanted, shamed and humiliated. Then Tamar got news of Judah coming through her town, so she posed as a prostitute at the city gates. Judah saw her there, and not knowing that she was his daughter-in-law, he slept with her. Then Tamar became pregnant by Judah, and news got back to Judah that Tamar was suddenly pregnant. Not knowing that the child was his, he immediately proclaimed that she should be brought into the middle of his city and killed. However, Tamar made it known that it was Judah who had made her pregnant, and Judah was publically embarrassed and ashamed of what he had done. Everyone knew what he had done, and Tamar was cleansed of any blame she had previously had. What a strange family story!

As I read t his, I became more and more confused, as well as grossed out. I mean I know it’s the Bible and that this story is there for a reason, but it just seems a little different than most of the stories found in the Bible! However, there are parts of this story that I just don’t understand. Like after Judah is outed to the whole town, he says “She is more righteous than me, because I wouldn’t give her my son.” What does this even mean?! Like how on earth was she being righteous? It seems to me that she was being sneaky and a bit driven by revenge more than anything else! I’m sure this is one of those stories that is so drenched with the Hebrew customs that it’s hard to understand without knowing the culture of the people. I wish I knew the traditions of the Hebrew people so that I could understand the meaning behind this story without getting caught up on the strange events that took place. For me, it’s hard to read this story and get a lot of spiritual benefit out of it, because I focus on how confusing this story is to me. I also am left wondering what it could possibly be saying about God and His people, and what their customs were like at that time.

I guess this is just one of those times that I simply have to accept that I don’t know everything about the Bible. Clearly God had a plan and was blessing His people regardless of the methods, even if it doesn’t make sense to me at all.

If you have any sort of insight about this story, please share it! I’m kind of lost with this whole story, so I would love to have some more understanding.

I Want to Read with a New Mind.

As I have said before, I am working through reading the whole Bible in a year. Now I never really viewed this as something that I wanted to do, which I know sounds just terrible. But like before I was really content just reading through Paul’s letters in the New Testament and Proverbs, without much attention being paid to any other part of the Bible. So then I started trying to branch out and find somewhere else to read, but I had no idea where to start! Plus when I did find somewhere new to start, I would get bored and just stop reading all together. Needless to say, that method wasn’t exactly working.

So then I was looking online, and I found the site youversion.com, and it totally helped me find something to read and stay on track with it. Just the fact that there is a daily reading for me to do and a deadline and accountability of sorts to keep reading has helped me stay in the word a whole lot more than I would have otherwise. I know all of this sounds like I’m just doing a commercial for the website and like it all isn’t really genuine, but it really is!

Now that I’m almost a month into this year-long plan (day 25 to be exact), and I have learned so much. I already wrote a bit on what I learned from Job, but that’s not the only place that I have been learning from. Reading back through Genesis has been interesting because I’m reading those stories that I grew up hearing in church, but in a very different way. Not to say that the way it was taught in church was incorrect, now I’m just hearing the unedited version. Nothing is watered down or made age-appropriate for the kids, it’s all the nitty gritty details.

Now this isn’t the first time that I have read these stories from the Bible, but reading them all in a row really seems to make a difference. Like rather than just reading a little here and a little there, I am reading them all together and seeing the connection between each one. It’s really interesting to read the whole story and see what really happened, and to be reminded of all those little details that I have managed to forget over time.

However, as I reread through these chapters, I am struck with the desire to read them and soak them in as if I’ve never read them before. It’s so easy to just skim over the stories I grew up hearing simply because I’ve heard them so many times. As I read through them, I wish that I could absorb their true meaning with a new outlook and forget the fact that I already know how the story is going to end. I think that is part of the reason I found Job so interesting, I really had no idea how it was going to end. Again, I had heard the general, watered-down story in Sunday school, but I had never taken the time to read the story for myself. As I read through Genesis, I pray that God will open my mind and help me to see things I’ve never seen before, and most of all learn brand new things about Him. It always blows my mind that the God I read about in the Old Testament is the same one who loves me and cares for me today. Ah man, our God is a great God.

Tomorrow will continue my reading through Genesis, and I am really praying that God will show me something new. I pray that I will learn something new about his power and love that I’ve never realized before, and I pray that I will find some application out of reading those great stories. Basically, I want to learn to read with new eyes and a new mind.