Sharing Some Honesty.

So the past week or so, I've been in a slump. I was on vacation first of all, which meant any sort of regular devotions just didn't happen. Also, I used being on vacation as an excuse to not do anything I would do in my usual routine, like homework and devotions and blogging. Looking back I'm really wishing that I hadn't just quit all of those responsibilities, but unfortunately I can't change that now.

See usually when I do this, like just fade off on my devotions and stop getting in the Word, I tend to let my relationship with God fade away. Not to say that I just leave God, not at all. But rather, I just kind of keep Him in the back of my mind without really putting forth effort into growing in my faith. This time, I've decided that just won't be the case.

I'm tired of allowing myself to fade away from my reliance on God, and ultimately being stupid for a while until I realize that it's because of me that I'm unhappy and then decide to come back to God. It's not right for me to continue living however I want to until I decide it isn't right anymore. Instead, I want to come back to God before I get back in the swing of life on my own rather than with God's help.

See this morning, I was struck with a thought about growing in my faith. Maturing in my faith isn't something that all of the sudden just happens, it takes work. It takes me looking at the mistakes I've made, and finding ways to fix them so that I won't make those mistakes again. It's a daily process. Looking at the mistakes I've made every day, and finding a way to not make those mistakes again.

I've always kind of thought that you don't really notice when you mature in your faith, you just look back years later and notice you've made some progress. The problem with that mentality is that it makes it seem like an accident, like I just happened to grow in my faith and I didn't really do anything about it. That doesn't really seem to be fair to God, and it doesn't help me be a stronger Christian either.

So now, I'm trying a new approach. I need to have some more self-reflection, and really look at the mistakes I've made and fix them. Rather than just brushing past my mistakes and trying to ignore them, I want to bring attention to them and prayerfully try and fix them. Because I want to be a stronger Christian, someone who really glorifies Christ, and living for myself just isn't accomplishing that.