Psalm 45:11 “The Lord is enthralled by your beauty.”
As a self-conscious, teenage girl, those words never made sense to me. To me, that verse (and others like it) simply didn’t apply to me. When I read it I would kind of skim over it and never take the words to heart. Not in a super-low-self-esteem sort of way, simply in a confused manner. I’ve never thought my appearance was every anything great, so why would the creator of the universe see beauty in me? I mean I know that God made me in His image and gave me this body for a reason, but what if my current weight or the lovely red spots on my face are things that God doesn’t really want there? I used to subconsciously be under the impression that God would only see beauty in me if I saw beauty in myself first. I would be extremely hard on myself mentally and really wear myself down when it came to my appearance. I would get frustrated when I didn’t like how I look, and I was never content with what I had. I would look at others and compare myself to them, thinking “man I wish I had her legs,” or “Goodness I wish I looked that pretty.” I would allow those self-diminishing thoughts to consume my mind on a regular basis, making myself even less happy than I already was with what God has given me.
As I struggled with these degrading thoughts, I continued to question the idea that God found me beautiful. Not just acceptable or average, but beautiful, enthralling, lovely, ideal, superb, wonderful and delightful. I would try to comfort myself with these thoughts, that God really did see me in this way, and make myself become happy with my appearance. Slowly I became a little more accepting. I kind of came to terms with how I looked, thinking things like “welp, it’s not going to get any better so I guess it’s time I just accept things.” I still wasn’t happy with it all, and I still didn’t understand how those verses could be true, but I kind of just tried ignored the whole thing.
That is, until something drastically shifted in my mind. It was like God’s truth finally made it through my stubborn hard head and rang true in my heart. I finally realized that those verses expressing the beauty God sees in me has nothing to do with my physical appearance. God does not care what my body looks like; the only thing that concerns Him about my body is what I do with it to glorify God. When God looks at me and sees beauty, it is my heart that He is admiring. That is the part of me that was made in God’s own image. That is my soul, the center of what I am. What my body looks like doesn’t matter, because all it does is house my Christ-filled soul.
I know that this may sound a little extreme and probably pretty radical, but I believe it is true. I believe that allowing ourselves to be consumed with what we look like and how our bodies compare to those around us is just a waste. It’s a waste of time, energy and self-esteem. This body will one day be buried in the ground and go no further than this world, but our souls will go on to heaven to live with Christ for eternity.
I’m reminded of a C. S. Lewis quote that says:
This completely rings true. Nothing about your physical body defines who you are. Your body is really only the storage place for your soul; that is what is important. With your soul, you can share God with everyone you see. You can be joyful even in the worst of times; you can find peace in the instances of ultimate stress. You can look past your human figure and embrace your spiritual existence. Always remember, your body is meaningless. It is the soul inside that counts for everything.
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