Shine.

The Word

“The Word was with God, and the Word was God.”

I’ve heard that verse many times, and never fully understood what it meant. The part that always really confused me was why Jesus was labeled “the Word”. I had a slight comprehension of how Jesus was with God and how they had the same qualities, but I just couldn’t grasp why He was referred to as “the Word.”

However, the more I read the scriptures, the more this is beginning to make sense. I’ve been in the word more in the past five months than I ever have in my life, and it has taught me a lot. Granted a lot of my time has been spent reading the Law of Moses in the beginning of the Old Testament, so it’s been a little bit of a struggle. But even as I read those books of the Bible, the qualities of God are made so clear to me. God had great love for the people of Israel, and He dearly wanted them to follow Him. He provided for them, He protected them, He was their judge and their leader.

God was all of these qualities, but He didn’t act them out physically. He didn’t physically live as a human among the people; rather He worked through His messengers and resided in pillars of cloud and smoke. He showed His great qualities through His words and His actions towards the Israelite people, but not in physical movements. He was still with the Israelites, but not exactly on their level. That is where Jesus comes in.

Jesus came to earth as a man. Not as a pillar or through a messenger, but as a human. He embodied all of those qualities that God described and showed to the Israelites, but He performed them first hand. Rather than teaching the Israelites about Himself through words, Jesus showed them. He became the living example of all the things God spoke about in the Old Testament. All of the great, mighty traits God shows from a distance in the Old Testament, Jesus showed them through His actions on earth. He took the qualities of God and performed them as a human on an individual scale.

This is kind of hard to wrap your mind around, and I’m even struggling with this as I write about it. Jesus and God are the same, each equally part of the trinity. However, Jesus showed the people around Him those qualities of God. The people didn’t just have to read about them in the Old Testament to learn from them, they simply had to witness Jesus’ actions.

This encourages me even more to read the Bible, and it creates even more of a link between the Old Testament and the New Testament. Rather than God simply being the father and Jesus being His Son, Jesus is the fulfillment of all of the qualities of God mentioned in the Old Testament. Not to say that God didn’t fulfill them Himself, Jesus was simply an individual human (just like you and I) who possessed all of those wonderful and glorious traits of God. Jesus is our example of Godly perfection, and we need to strive to be like Him.

Control.

I never really understood why people would be scared to give God control. Granted I never really gave this idea much thought, but when it would pass through my head I thought it sounded good. I mean logically, it makes sense. Giving the creator of the universe (including your life) complete control of you? Sounds good to me. At least, it sounds good in theory.

However, this summer I have had a lot of time to think about this. As I examine my own life, I see the areas that I just don’t give God control of. It’s easy to say “okay God, my future is yours” when I don’t even know what my future looks like. But then I think about the areas of my life that I really want to go one way, and the thought of giving God control and risking it going in a completely different direction is terrifying.

Some of you may be thinking “well duh! It’s hard!”, so please forgive me. Maybe I’m just a little naïve, but I never really considered it before. I think that is partially is because I never really thought of what it meant to give God control. Yes I have prayed for a while that God would be the center of my life and that I would give up control, but I never really thought about what that looked like. And now that I’m thinking about it, it’s so scary.

Life with God in control isn’t predictable. He does things far beyond our imagination, especially when we aren’t expecting it. Rather than calling our own shots and doing what we want, God does things His way. Life with God in control is open ended, with you as the passenger and God in the driver’s seat.

This idea scares me! I know I shouldn’t be scared, but that part of me that craves control just doesn’t seem to warm up to this idea. I know that the Bible is full of verses all about how God is good and works for the good of those who love Him, and all the ideas sound wonderful. I’m not saying that they aren’t true, it’s just hard to truly believe when it seems like so much is at stake. But then I realized that I am faced with a decision. Either I can choose to live for myself and do whatever I want and ultimately be unhappy, or I can choose to give God control. I can choose to give Him my time, my relationships, my future, my everything.

I’m still working through this concept. I know that it’s something that is needed in my life, but man I’m having a hard time giving it up. I've written about it before, and I hope this all isn't repetitive. I'm processing this, working through it. God is teaching me something here, and I am slowly understanding. It scares me, and God is working through that.

I was talking with a friend recently and she was talking about she is working on living life open handed. God has given us everything, we hold nothing on our own. We can’t take the things God has given us and close our fist around them, determined to do with them what we want. Instead, we need to give it to God. Let Him place it in our hands, but also allow Him to take it away when the time is right. Living open handed, with everything open for God to use. I don’t know why, but this is a huge struggle for me. Like I just can’t get it through my head that this is good.

It’s not God’s way of tricking me or making me pay for the sins I’ve done.

This is God’s way of being in control and giving me the best life possible.

The only thing getting in the way is me.

God is Good.

I was recently talking to some friends from high school (the same ones I briefly mentioned going to Starbucks with before), and we got into a really great discussion. We just started talking about how we couldn’t possibly imagine life without God. I then started to think about everything God has given me, and I was so overwhelmed with how great God is.

I mean honestly, God provides everything. He gives me:

· Joy.

· Unconditional Love.

· The ability to love others.

· Selflessness.

· Humility.

· Wisdom.

· Relationships.

· Unlimited Opportunities.

· Comfort.

· Contentment.

· Thankfulness.

· Purpose in life.

· Assurance.

· Peace.

· No need to worry about the future.

· Appreciation for His blessings.

· Faith.

· Hope.

· More blessings than I could ever count.

· A personal relationship with Him.

· Life.

And that’s just the beginning. God is good.

I couldn’t do life without Him.

Do Not Forget the Lord.

The other day, I opened my Bible for the first time in almost two weeks. I had avoided, excused and simply forgotten my devotions, and the guilt was beginning to set in. One night before bed I decided to open my Bible to where my reading plan had left off and read the passage for that day. The very first words I read as the heading above Deuteronomy chapter 8 were:

“Do not forget the Lord.”

Hmm, what a coincidence. Except, God doesn’t work through coincidences. So God was basically telling me what He wanted to tell me in the most obvious way. Don’t forget about God!

I had allowed myself to fill my schedule with work, family and friends and had put God on the back burner of my life. I had justified my actions with excuses like “but I’ll need the money next year, I have no choice but to work now!” or “I haven’t seen my family for a month, shouldn’t I be spending my time with them?!”. I’m telling you, I told myself and God just about every excuse I could think of.

Then I opened my Bible, and read that friendly little reminder from God. As I continued reading in that chapter, I got to verse 3. It talks about how God provided for the Israelites with manna to teach them that “man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.” While I had not been surviving off of manna for the past few weeks, I have been filling my schedule with what I wanted rather than with God. While I have been in prayer, I haven’t been in the Word learning more about Him.

After reading this verse, I realized that God was trying to tell me something else too.

I can’t get by living with me in charge of my life. Nothing I try to do for myself will satisfy, and nothing I accomplish will be enough for me. No matter what I try to do in my life, God is the only one who can truly make me live. His promises, His love, His very existence is what makes me truly alive.

Sure I can live, but God makes me ALIVE.

Freshman Reflection.

Last night I got to see some of the wonderful people I was friends with in high school, and ah it was just great. Then I went to Starbucks with three of my closest friends just to catch up and talk for a little bit. We started looking back on our freshman year and what all we learned, and I came to a great realization.

Freshman year wasn’t exactly the easiest thing in the world for me. It was a tough transition, and I felt uncomfortable in my surroundings more than I thought I would. I hadn’t realized just how comfortable I had been with my life in high school until I was taken out of it and thrown into a whole new environment. I learned to be a lot more self-sufficient, not just by doing my own laundry and being responsible for my academics, but in terms of my social life and especially with my relationship with God. No longer could I rely on a Sunday church service on and some great small groups throughout the week to keep my fire for God burning strong. I had to do my own devotions and get in the Word on my own to really feel God and see Him working in my life. It was something I wasn’t really used to, and an area of my faith that really required some development.

As I look back over my year, I certainly have a lot to reflect on. I think back to all the times I felt uncomfortable and alone, and the ways God helped me through that. I think to the times that I felt like I was really starting to make friends, and how I was so thankful to the Lord for providing that. I think to when I felt so overwhelmed with my projects that it seemed impossible for me to even stay alive until the weekend, and the way God provided strength and perseverance in those moments. Basically, I can see God in everything.

I learned a lot this year, and some of it was lessons I didn’t really want to learn. I didn’t want to learn what it felt like to be alone, and it wasn’t exactly fun learning how to try and make the strong friendships that I missed so much from high school. I mean I definitely still have those friendships and they are just as strong as before, but I couldn’t just rely on my friends that were hundreds of miles away. I learned that I just had to open up to the people around me and let them in, and make new friends where I was at. This year was a growing experience, and I’m still trying to reflect on it all.

However, as I look back over all the hardships and lessons I learned this year, I’m happy it all happened. Now I know that sounds crazy, and six months ago I'm not sure I would have even slightly believed that I would be saying that one day. I am simply so, so thankful that God used those situations to teach me things. My relationship with God grew more over the past year than I ever could have imagined, and for that I am so thankful. All those times that I was sad and frustrated made me cry out to Him, and through those moments He slowly became all I needed in life. I no longer was reliant on all the comfortable things I had at home, for a time it was just me and God.

I don’t want it to sound like I was an anti-social hermit or anything this past school year, because that wasn’t it. I simply had to adjust and get used to not having my friends from home around me, and I had to learn to make new friends. It’s so funny because I never really thought that would be something I learned in college because I never really struggled with it before. But God works in interesting ways, and He certainly used my situation to teach me. And I’m so thankful He did, because I learned more about Him than I could have possibly imagined.

Moments of Weakness.

I have weaknesses. Things like gossiping, self-scrutiny, being mean, judging others, and o many others. There are things that tempt me, things that I should avoid, and things that I should force myself to overcome. The problem is, I seem unable to do so. There are so, so, somany of these things that it is a little discouraging and overwhelming to think of. It seems like there are some days that I focus so much more on the things that I struggle with than the things that I can do, the things that I can accomplish. Those weaknesses become my self-seen identity, the only part of me that stands out in my own eyes.

The thing is that I can’t handle these weaknesses on my own, not a single one of them. Not the big issues or the minor things, nothing. I need God’s help. I need His strength.

But see, then it gets tricky. I know in my head that I need His strength and power, but what do I do after that? I know to pray to Him, ask for guidance and wisdom, but then I get lost. The frustrating thing is that in my heart, I am dead-set on putting the temptations behind me. I want to move on from them, I want to stop giving in. I have the mental motivation, I just don't seem to actually stick with it. So I pray and ask for wisdom/insight/advice/anything, but I feel like I still don't know what to do next. I wait to see Him work and show me what I need to do, maybe even give me a straightforward list of instructions to overcome my struggle. I want Him to just flat out tell me how to get over what I do wrong.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that. I can't just expect God to tell me exactly what I need to do without really trying anything. I need to put forth some effort to show that I want this. I think I have to continually submerse myself so completely in God that the struggle isn’t a struggle anymore. I make it so that my focus is so directed at God that the weakness doesn’t defeat me anymore. Instead, God has defeated it and I have learned another way to glorify God. The focus and emphasis is taken off the weakness and is placed on God instead, the much more deserving recipient of my attention.

And just like that, after days of prayer and slight frustration over this very issue, I have found an answer to my question.

Thank you Lord, you certainly do work in interesting ways.